Every day, a huge number of people meet on the internet. They chat for weeks, exchange funny pictures and favorite songs, and make plans together. But according to statistics, only a small percentage of online relationships develop into something more. Many potentially happy stories end before they even begin. The reason is simple: one person (and sometimes both) simply cannot bring themselves to meet in person.
When communicating online, we feel safe. After all, here we can control everything and simply “run away” at any moment. The real world deprives us of this opportunity. That’s why many people remain in their comfort zone, but in complete solitude. Does this story apply to you too? Let’s figure out how to deal with it.
Why is meeting in person so scary?
Psychologists identify several key fears that people face before meeting in person:
- The fear of not being liked. It is directly related to our self-esteem. On the internet, we can create any image we want and appear smarter, more beautiful, and more successful than in real life. But on a real date, everything is different. Here, you can’t pause to think about your answer or put on a mask to look more attractive. We just need to be ourselves, but not everyone can do that. In addition, many people are afraid to see disappointment in the other person’s eyes, because it will hit their self-esteem even harder. And in general, rejection in real life is perceived more acutely and painfully than in correspondence.
- Fear of the mismatch between “expectations and reality”. We all embellish ourselves a little. But there are also those who create a completely different personality on the internet. This problem is especially common in dating apps. Users post old photos, retouched photos that are unrecognizable, or even pretend to be someone else. This is why there is a fear of meeting and realizing that you have simply fallen in love with an artificial image. Another fear is realizing that you yourself do not meet other people’s expectations.
- Fear of failure. Many people are afraid of awkward silences. After all, when we’re chatting online, we have time to think about what to write, but on a real date, we have to react instantly. The fear of appearing boring or not interesting enough prevents us from behaving the same way we do when chatting online. And the date turns into an exam rather than a pleasant pastime. We try to live up to the image we have created for ourselves on the internet and miss the opportunity to show our true selves.
That is why many people never decide to meet in person, because they are afraid of losing the “chemistry” that arose in their correspondence. But, as practice shows, prolonged online communication also has no future. After all, truly sincere and warm relationships can only be built in real life.
How to prepare for a live meeting
Therefore, you need to work a little on your perceptions so that the date does not turn into torture. Here are some practical tips to help you feel more relaxed and confident:
- Lower your expectations. Don’t go into a meeting thinking that you’ll meet the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. Just treat dates as an opportunity to spend time away from home. If there’s no chemistry or you have very different outlooks on life, it’s no big deal. You’ll have plenty more dates, and on one of them you’re bound to meet “the one.”
- Don’t try to play a role. Honesty is the foundation of any relationship. So if you want to make a good impression, just be yourself and don’t try to appear better than you really are. After all, insincerity is instantly apparent and only causes irritation. If you are nervous, it is better to say so right away, rather than trying to hide behind coldness and indifference. Most likely, the other person is also nervous. And this admission will help you both relax.
- Focus on your conversation partner, not on yourself. Start taking a genuine interest in the person: ask questions, listen carefully, observe their behavior. This will help you get rid of obsessive thoughts like “How do I look?” or “What if they don’t like me?” Focus your attention on the other person, and then your inner anxiety will gradually subside.
And one more tip: choose a place for the meeting that is comfortable for both of you. It is important that the atmosphere helps you relax, rather than making you feel awkward. It could be a familiar coffee shop, Central Park, or a small, cozy restaurant. And don’t choose a place that is too noisy, because then it will be very difficult for you to concentrate on the conversation.
Also, stick to the “first hour” rule. Agree that the date will not be too long. 40-60 minutes is enough to understand whether you want to spend more time with this person. If the conversation goes well, you can continue it. If the conversation doesn’t work out, you can calmly leave, citing other commitments.
Video chats a test drive for a real meeting
Another way to get rid of most of your fears before a date is to communicate via online chat beforehand. Even a classic chat roulette will help you feel more confident at the meeting. After all, when you decide to meet after a video call, you will already be familiar with the person you are going to meet.
For example, random videochat helps you relax. You communicate with each other almost as you would in real life, but you remain in your comfort zone. So if you lack communication skills, you can “practice” meeting people on video. The Thundr platform is perfect for this. It has a large and active audience, so you will definitely not lack interesting conversation partners.
In addition, live cam chat helps to get rid of the fear of expectations not matching reality. When you communicate via video, you see the person as they are in real life. There are no filters or masks in roulette chats, and it is simply impossible to pretend to be someone else. What’s more, some platforms strictly monitor users to ensure they are not deceiving others. For example, on https://coomeet.chat/thundr all girls must register and confirm their details. Therefore, you can be sure that on the other side of the screen is a real person, not a fake.
Video chat roulette also helps you save time. After chatting, you can decide whether you like the person and want to move from online to offline. And if, during the video chat, you realize that the person is not right for you, there is no need to come up with excuses to end the conversation. You just press the “Next” button, and in a few seconds, another person appears on the screen.
Don’t let fear prevent you from being happy
It is absolutely normal to feel nervous before your first meeting. It means that you like the person and want to make a good impression on them. But don’t let fear control you. The worst thing that can happen on a date is simply a lack of mutual interest. But that’s not the end of the world. So don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to communicate in person. We hope that our tips will help you feel more relaxed and confident.
